One area in
my life where I have always thought that I should do better and that it
is all up to me is in my relationship with God.
At times I don’t “call" Him often enough, don’t “visit” often enough and more
often, I don’t listen when He speaks … hardly ever it seems. Why? Entirely
Partly because I come from the family country of average, the place of “who
do you think you are” ...
* He doesn’t need to be disturbed by me, who
am I?
*Why? Does He notice if I am not there? Who
do I think I am?
*Why should I listen? Is he speaking to me? Nah
… who am I!
If anyone
else asks me if God wants our prayers, rejoices when we settle our souls and
hearts in worship and if He proudly speaks to us, hoping we will listen – I say
OF COURSE, and I mean it! Of course He listens to you, rejoices in you and
proudly speaks to you … but “who am I” to
think that goes for me as well …
But I read-
a lot, I think – even more, and I know my confused thoughts go up to Him as
prayer, of sorts …
... And I hang on!
You see,
there is this voice in me that is, oh, so wise – a voice that makes me, glad, curious,
adamant to want to know EVERYTHING God and gives me the strength to keep
‘at it’ even when the ‘who-do-you-think-you-are-mentality’ of me and my tradition
is loud and overpowering.
This voice comes through at the most unexpected times and tells me that there is
not ONE ’most beloved disciple’ but that there are many. And that I am one!
THAT is the
voice I aim be open for … not any other, at any time!
Write for 5 minutes flat
– no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
