One area in
my life where I have always thought that I should do better and that it
is all up to me is in my relationship with God.
At times I don’t “call" Him often enough, don’t “visit” often enough and more
often, I don’t listen when He speaks … hardly ever it seems. Why? Entirely
Partly because I come from the family country of average, the place of “who
do you think you are” ...
* He doesn’t need to be disturbed by me, who
am I?
*Why? Does He notice if I am not there? Who
do I think I am?
*Why should I listen? Is he speaking to me? Nah
… who am I!
If anyone
else asks me if God wants our prayers, rejoices when we settle our souls and
hearts in worship and if He proudly speaks to us, hoping we will listen – I say
OF COURSE, and I mean it! Of course He listens to you, rejoices in you and
proudly speaks to you … but “who am I” to
think that goes for me as well …
But I read-
a lot, I think – even more, and I know my confused thoughts go up to Him as
prayer, of sorts …
... And I hang on!
You see,
there is this voice in me that is, oh, so wise – a voice that makes me, glad, curious,
adamant to want to know EVERYTHING God and gives me the strength to keep
‘at it’ even when the ‘who-do-you-think-you-are-mentality’ of me and my tradition
is loud and overpowering.
This voice comes through at the most unexpected times and tells me that there is
not ONE ’most beloved disciple’ but that there are many. And that I am one!
THAT is the
voice I aim be open for … not any other, at any time!
Write for 5 minutes flat
– no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
Jag känner igen mig, jag har alldeles för lite tid med Gud.
SvaraRaderaJag vill önska dig ett Got Nytt År!
Nyårskram Anne-Lie!
I want to be open to THAT voice too. Lovely post.
SvaraRaderaIt is so hard to battle a lifetime of cultural belief system.
SvaraRaderaI live in a part of our country where we are FIERCELY independent... and learning to lean wholly on an unseen God is seen as lunacy.
So I understand...
And I also understand the head knowledge when counseling others not quite making it to the heart for ourselves...
Lovely post!!!
Visiting from the Gypsy Mama. This was a very powerful post. Thank you for sharing it.
SvaraRaderaIt can be work for me to stay open as well...Keep at it, I am sure of the benefits!
SvaraRaderaAll the best to you going into this new year!
The song...the voice of Truth...keeps going around in my head, because those voices are the ones that come back stronger each time they are rejected. Great post!
SvaraRaderaI can completely relate to the struggle of feeling overwhelmed by the reality that I am His beloved. My feelings of unworthiness - because I am unworthy! -- can make me want to strive to be more deserving of His love, and I get it all backwards about why/how He came. I know there is nothing I can do, or need to do, for Him to love me more, and that it is His love that prompts my heart to want to be more like Him. Yet, sometimes I get caught up in feeling like I do want to earn it all sometimes. A vicious cycle where He continues to help me surrender. Thank you so much for your vulnerable, powerful post here.
SvaraRaderaGott-nytt-år-hälsning till dig!
SvaraRadera/ TANKAR o BILDER